Dealing with Repressed Emotions
We are all humans with feelings, and we all started experiencing emotions when we were young. As we grow into adulthood, we start taking on responsibilities. We’re faced with several hurdles and challenges, and as life keeps happening with or without our consent, we will experience a dramatic change in our emotions every day.
We do not get appreciated enough for what we do, and this chaotic world of modern life we find ourselves in becomes Herculean to navigate. In all of this, one of the things we fail to do is to see how the emotions we hold on to affect our health and our mental and physiological state.
While we unconsciously find it needless to take a break to reflect and pay close attention to what we’re feeling, the negative and trapped emotions gradually dampen our greater sense of wellbeing and prevent us from enjoying the emotional freedom we deserve. As humans, it’s pertinent for us to learn to move through our emotions rather than avoid them, because of the underlying adverse effects they have and the enormous toll they can take.
To enjoy a more authentic life, cultivate deeper relationships, and thrive in work and life, we must learn to embrace change, enhance our emotional agility, and get unstuck. And thankfully, this book offers tips to foster your emotional intelligence. It furnishes you with healthy ideas for working with your negative emotions. It enhances your ability to overcome stuck, negative, and trapped emotions, so you can enjoy the true, unadulterated emotional freedom you deserve.
The emotions that you unconsciously avoid are your repressed emotions. These are the emotions that you don’t know precisely how to deal with, so they become feelings you purposely avoid. These emotions are different from suppressed emotions. For instance, let’s say you’re still staying with your parents because you’ve been trying to save on rent, or because you’ve become so attached to them and haven’t yet found the courage to live on your own.
One Monday morning, you and your parents had a little tiff, and you decided you would move out in the next few days. You still had to go to work that same Monday morning without letting the little situation get the best of you, knowing you could address it with your parents when you got back.
Note that, at times, it could be a good short-term solution to push aside or suppress your feelings, but it becomes dangerous when you keep those emotions hanging for a long time without addressing them. However, when repressed, these emotions tend to manifest as diverse physical or psychological symptoms and don’t get a chance to be processed.
Why Does It Happen?
Our childhood experiences have a close relationship with emotional repression. As a young person, your primary caregivers have a significant impact on your communication and behavior. If your caregivers didn’t judge or criticize your emotional expressions, made it normal for you to experience positive and negative emotional experiences, encouraged you to share how experiences made you feel, and frequently talked about their feelings, the chances are high that you’ll feel pretty comfortable expressing your emotions.
However, if you had a different childhood experience, you’ll feel disconnected from your feelings as an adult dealing with repressed emotions. If your caregivers denied your experience, told you your feelings were wrong, shamed or punished you for expressing your emotions, never talked about their feelings, or rarely showed emotion, it’s more likely that you’ll repress emotions.
As you keep growing, you tend to push your noticeable emotions aside. You’ll continue to unconsciously bury strong emotions because you’ve learned that it’s safer to avoid your emotions entirely, especially if you had distressing or painful outcomes by showing your feelings in childhood.